At any stage of a marriage, the specter of potential divorce becomes a reality. One spouse loses interest in the union, going to great lengths to pull away. Whether the actions of one spouse are demeaning or outright dismissive, refusing to spend time with their partner or working on fixing the marriage, the time may be right to consider ending the union.
However, children must also be considered in the decision. Timing is everything, particularly if offspring are reaching the age where they want to explore post-high school academic pursuits, whether that involves trade schools or colleges.
Children may already know
Even if parents think they are successful in keeping the life-changing secret, children can be extremely intuitive and realize that their parents’ marriage was ending long before the “announcement.” In reality, and in most cases, the facts are quite different. Whether they live in the family home or away at school, they can still experience the trauma of parents splitting up.
Parents can mitigate the trauma by taking a cooperative, not contentious, approach to their divorce. Some parents may be under the assumption that one life-changing event can combine with another. After all, college-bound children will be spending the majority of their time away from the family home.
Leaving for college is a rite of passage and a significant transition. Concurrently, parents dealing with significantly life-changing events that come with divorce also face uncertainty. The best option is full disclosure to their children and maintaining the peace as one household becomes two for children, regardless of age.
