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How to know if your marriage is not worth saving

If you look back over your life, you can probably think of many difficult decisions you have made that changed the course of your life. Perhaps you struggled to decide which college to attend, what to major in, where to apply for work and where to settle down and live. If you are like many, you labor over the small decisions - like what color to paint the living room - as well as the big questions - like whether to accept a marriage proposal and how many kids to have.

Now that you are married with children, you face one of the most difficult decisions of your life. Should you file for divorce? Unlike painting the living room, no magazine article or advice from friends can make the decision for you. Instead, it may be best to examine the ways your marriage is affecting every area of your life to determine if the negative outweighs to positive.

Common reasons for divorce

Whether you are living a fairytale marriage or each day is a struggle, your relationship with your spouse impacts every area of your life. Your unhappiness and indecision are also likely having an affect on your job, your health and your relationships with other people. This is understandable since your whole life will change if you chose to end your marriage. Making a rash decision is not an option, but you also want to make sure you aren't staying married for the wrong reasons.

For many spouses who are contemplating divorce, some common factors lead them to choose to end their marriages, for example:

  • They are too deeply hurt by their spouses to offer forgiveness.
  • They feel like their relationships with their spouses have died and they have nothing left to offer.
  • They no longer share the simple joys of marriage, such as an intimate connection, laughter, affection and lovemaking.
  • They feel their partners ignore them or demonstrate indifference toward them.
  • There is a history of abuse or addiction.

In fact, if you feel the health, safety and well-being of you and your children are at risk because of your spouse's violent behavior or substance abuse, there may be no question that leaving is the best option. As such, you may wish to take advantage of the resources available in Missouri for victims of these situations. Before making any decisions about whether to end your marriage, you would benefit from a complete understanding of the process and what you can expect both during and after the divorce.

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